| Relationships |
[13 Jul 2003|02:59am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 lonely |
] |
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music |
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Gundam Seed Ending 2 - River |
] |
As I lay in bed trying to sleep, I tend to reflect on my life. Without music, TV and video games to occupy my mind, this is when the depressed memories return to me. This particular night, I'm kept up by analizing the nature of my relationships with people. Or more to the point, my lack of relationships. In the history of my life, there have only been 6 people who I truly think of as friends. Of those 6, 3 are online, and 2 are no longer in my life, and the last oneI hardly see around anymore. It's hard to even know where to begin. I guess I should begin with my first memory of someone who was an actual friend. I think I was in 3rd grade at the time. Pathetic huh? No friends until 3rd grade. Anyways, his grandmother lived next door to me so thats how we meet. We both loved video games, legos and so on so we got along pretty well. His brother was much older then us and by the time we were in 5th grade he had started working and always baught the best games as soon as they came out. My parents were pretty singy back then even though my dad was making a lot of money, he was always throwing big cookouts while all I got was a pathetic $5 a week. Needless to say, I couldn't buy shit. So I was in awe when I went to his house and always wanted to play all those new games. It didn't take too long before he made the suspition that the only reason I hung out with him was to play those games, since it's all I wanted to do. Was I just using him? I don't really know, but that implication, the fact that he said such a thing, it really hurt. Things wern't really the same after that, a couple years later I moved to the other end of town and we eventually lost contact. We called frewer and fewer times, until we just stopped all together.
By this point I had another good friend, someone I had meet in 6th grade and who I still hang out with to this day, though the last couple years I havn't seen him too often. I have to say I'm pretty envious of how diffrent our lives turned out. He is now married, has his own house and his own buisness and he's the same age as me, while I still havn't had a gf and still with my parents and work part time. That alone is pretty damn depressing. Anyways, we still hung out when while we were at diffrent high schools, then we went to the same college and even started working at UPS together. Then we graduated and he left UPS for a full time job while I was unable to find any other work and was stuck at UPS. Due to our conflicting scheduals we didn't speak much for a couple years. I remember him once saying he wanted me to be his Best Man if he ever got married. Thats how close we were, like brothers, but when I did finally get back in contact with him, he had gotten married, and I never got so much as a wedding invitation. That was a pretty deep stab wound. Though I once told him I hated weddings and any formal events, he probably took that into account, but still. . . . he could have invited me anyway. . . .
Alright, I guess it's time to get into the girl department. In my life I've only had 2 female friends. One being my cousin Kate, well technically she was my uncle's, girlfriend's daughter, there was no real relation between us but we were rasied as cousins. Anyways, unlike most people, especially most of the girls, she didn't ignore me or treat me like shit. She was one of the nicest people I knew. Unlike most girls, I was actually comfortable hanging out with her, but it didn't do much to help me get closer to other girls, I was still wary of her friends. There was one time I could have had a girlfriend, I remember it quite vividly. It was middle school grauation, and this really cute girl I had a thing for actually started hitting on me. That had never happened to me before, I had no idea how to react. That could have been a turning point in my life, but I was so fucked up from the ritalin the school nazis had put me on, I was extreamly paranoid. As she made advances all I could think of was "she's setting me up for something", "what is she up to?" Seriously, I was THAT paranoid. So all I did was reject her. There were a couple other times girls approched me but half the time they were sluts or I just sank back into my paranoia or shyness. almost 24 years, and still I'm alone v_v
And that brings us to Li, who I've known for over 3 years now but have only just meet face to face recently. She's been a great friend, even though there was that akward period when she was going through some weird shit. But aside from that, things have changed, well for me anyway. I used to think we had a lot in common, but as more time goes on I realize this is only wishful thingin on my part. In truth we are very diffrent people and though I've made my feelings toward her known, she doesn't seem to be interested in me too much. I don't mind too much, she's a good friend and I'm happy to keep it that way, even though if I had a gf, she's definatly on the top of the list. My visit to see her left me with some mixed feelings, she seemed a little closer to one of her friends then she's letting on, so that made things slightly akward. I don't count this as any kind of rejection but after meeting me I wouldn't blame her of she was dissappointed about the whole meeting.
This kind of shits keeps me awake at night, always thinking about what could have been. What if I wasn't such a fuck up? What is I wasn't a coward? What if I wasn't drugged as a kid? Who knows what I'd be like now, maybe I would be as sussessful as Derek, have my own place and a girl in my life. For now I continue to sit in front of my computer, locked away in my room, letting games, movies and music block out the real world as I retreat into RPG fantasys in a futile attempt tp escape the mind numbing pathetic reality that is my life.
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| Life isn't so bad afterall |
[02 Jun 2003|10:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
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lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Hack Sign - To Nowhere |
] |
Last week of school, a week off work next week, and my long awaited visit to MN in a month. Yup, things are looking up for once. Since I now have a full time job waiting for me out in California once I finish school my future is now more or less secure, well kinda. Finally started working on my site again, I got my work cut out for me though, I plan to make a version of it completely in flash, thats going to be a pain v_v. On the plus side I got a penguin working on a new site logo ^_^', they are interesting creatures, though a bit lazy ^_~ jk.
The trip has got my head all messed up. I keep trying to play it over in my head, when I see her, what will I say? I keep thinking to myself it's no big deal but then I remember how I act in front of people, especially good looking girls, I'll probably end up going complely silent for fear of making an ass out of myself. Well, hopefully everything goes smoothly, I just wish I had more then a weekend. Speaking of weekends, why the hell is NO ONE ever online during the weekends anymore? I'll see Li or BP for a little bit, a couple others might show up for a few minutes but mostly it's dead for hours. I am the only one who doesn't have a life? lol
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| FECK |
[29 Mar 2003|10:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pessimistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Hack Sign - Echoes |
] |
How much does my life suck? Let us count the ways.
1) My boss won't let me switch to the other shift at work that I need to switch to so I can go to school. Result, starting Monday I may no longer have a job. No job = no school, leaving me with the unacceptable option of dropping out.
2) Normally my student loans are more then enough to cover my tuition, so I have $400 to $500 extra to send on books and stuff, however thats no the case anymore so now I have to pay $80 a month to make up the diffrence. Because of this I had to cancel my trip to see Li, the one thing that helped keep me going through all this shit, something I had been dreaming of for a while, now it's been fucking blown to shit. I was counting on that money for a plane ticket, and now I can't even save up.
3) My father broke his arm and shattered his shoulder, which will probably mean he'll need a lot more help around the house, which is hard with my mom working full time and my own pissy schedual.
4) When I went back to register for school again, after taking a quarter off I was told my Tech doesn't exist anymore, it was remade into something else. So rather then start from scratch I have to give up my B.S. and go for a second A.S. in a field I already had most of the credits for.
And son of a bitch, can you believe ALL of this happened in just 1 week? Just fuckign shoot me now, I have no idea how I'll manage work and school after monday.
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| Blah. . just blah. . . again |
[01 Feb 2003|04:09am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cynical |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Mr. Big - Shine |
] |
So whats got me down enough fo rmake me write in this thing again? Well, something happened to me, something that should be one of the happiest things thats ever happened to me, but for some reason I'm not feeling any happiness over the situation. I've had this firend for nearly 3 years now, though we've never met in person she's still been pretty special to me. I am by nature a solitary person, I do not go activly looking for people to hang out with, it's just not my style. Not too long before I first got online she contacted me about a site I had made, I think it was about the site, it's been a while now and I don't remember exactly. But at this time she was online all the time and the only one on my buddy list so I'd chat with her all day. As the summer went on we became pretty good friends, or so I thought. It was around then that she probably made the biggest impact on my life, by getting me involved with a Gundam RPG, all the online friends I have right now, were people I had met through that RPG that she had got me into, so I'll always be greatful for that. Things seemed to be going good, I enjoyed talking and RPing with her, but after a while things started to change, she start growing pretty distant and cold. Every once in a while she'd flirt or joke around but she was mostly either pissed or depressed which got to a point where I got really worried about her. I think that was a turning point for me, I had always liked her but that was when I first started growing concearned for her.
Well, back to the issue at hand. After nearly 3 years I finally have a chance to meet her in person. Giving my hermit-like existence, the fact that I have not left my own state in years and never by myself. This should be one of the coolest and greatest things thats ever happened to me. But, somehow, it just doesn't feel like it. It's an expensive trip, to a cold state, during the winter, and since I'm no snowboarder this isn't exactly an idea vacation, but I don't care about that shit, for me it's all worth it just to meet her face to face and hang out for a few days. But lately I've just been getting this vibe from her that makes me feel like she doesn't really care if I even show up or not. I can't expent her to be as exitied as I am about this though, she's met up with online friends before and traveled around, even been to Europe, so for her this probably seems like nothing, even though to me, it's everything. I know she doesn't have the same feelings for me as I have for her, but still. She's going through a lot of pain from an injury, I keep assuming thats all it is, just too stressed from the injury and lack of sleep. But I just can't shake this feeling like I am setting myself up for something bad. Like I'm going to get there and then be left alone, or even worse, end up wishing I had been left alone. I don't know what will happen when I get up there, or how akward it might be considering how shy I am around girls. All I know for sure is that I've been waiting for this oppurtunity for a long time, even if I only get to spend one day with her, it'll be worth it, but I still can't shake this feeling of dread, or maybe it's just paranoia.
Most of this is my problem, I know she could never be my gf, no matter how much I would want that, I wouldn't want to burden her with that long distence relationship crap. Besides, how could I compete with someone that could be there with her in person all the time. The simple fact is, I consider her to be one of my best friends, and her friendship is very important to me and I don't want to fuck that up for anything, on top of that I know she only thinks of me as a friend, though at time it seems she only "puts up with me" and I get a feeling she might like me even less then I think. But I still have that clinging hope that someday we might hook up. Oh well, one can dream. And speaking of dreams, I should be going to sleep now...
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| I LIVE! |
[02 Jan 2003|12:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Mobile Suit Gundam SEED - Invoke |
] |
So where was I the last few days? Well so I don't have to keep telling people over and over again, here it is. It all began on Monday when I got a new 256 mb RAM chip to speed up my computer. I put the chip in and it kept telling me I had an invalid system configuration. It wouldn't let my computer start up. So after a while I said to hell with it and wet to reinstall windows. But for some screwed up reason, that wouldn't work. It wouldn't even reformat the drive and reinstall windows. A friend of mine who knows a lot about comp hardware said I probably had a virus that killed the HD and that I'd have to go and buy a new one. Well I was going to anyway, just not this soon, I didn't have the cash but I couldn't bear not being online so I picked up a 40 gig for $100 on my credit card, that being the smallest HD I could find. Sooooo, I had him put in the new HD and guess what? The SAME frikkin thing happened, Windows still wouldn't install. So now I'm really pissed, oh by the way, we are on Tuseday now, I've been offline for over 24 hours and I'm nearing insanity. All I could do was sit there looking at that damn comp that just wouldn't work. On Wednesday, now 2 days with no web, I tried to get another OS to use. My friend was supposed to give me his copy of Windows 98 but that fell through, I was able to score Windows XP from a cousin but that wouldn't load either. So it's wednesday night, we are nearing the 3rd day of no access and I'm about to frikkin kill someone. And then it hits me. All this started when I added that Ram, maybe it's not the HD at all. So I open the tower and take out the new RAM and NOW the fucking thing works, Windows loaded into the new HD just fine.
The real bitch, I spent $40 on that ram, and another $100 on that HD, money I didn't have to spend, so I'm a little fucked right now. On top of that I had 3 miserable days, *sigh* but thats all over now. So how has your week been?
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| COLD! |
[07 Dec 2002|04:48am] |
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mood |
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cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Kid Rock - Cowboy |
] |
I hate RI winters, on the way home from work it was -4 degrees, yeah I think I'll move to CA. Anyways, it's been a while since I wrote anything here, not much has happened. I made the decision to take a quarter off school, find a second part time job and save up for a trip to CA to find better work and of course to visit a special someone when she goes out there for college ^_^.
This is weird, it's just odd not seeing BP online, guess he's out in that. . . world. . . thing. . . yeah I keep hearing about it, maybe I'll check it out someday.
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| Thanksgiving |
[28 Nov 2002|09:29am] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
] |
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music |
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[Roxette] - She's Got the Look |
] |
Whats my favorite bird? On a day like this you would think turkey right? No, hell no turkeys are frigging stupid actually I believe they are classified as the dumbest birds alive. My fav birds are pigeons, why? Because pigeons have that "I just don't give a shit" attitude that I so admire. Most animals run from humans on sight but not pigeons. I was waiting for a bus one day and a pigeon walked right up to me, shot me a dirty look, took a shit right there and then just kept on walking past me, I admire that, now that's a bird with some balls.
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| Well that sucked |
[26 Nov 2002|03:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
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music |
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Victory Gundam - Don't Stop! Carry On! |
] |
Working at UPS, I've had some good nights and I've had some bad nights, and last night, last night was the worst of nights. My ride was sick and thus 20 minutes late, also due to his being sick he left at break leaving me stranded with no ride. My shift ended at 3:00 am and I waited around till 4:00 am and still couldn't find a ride, thinking I could catch a bus at 5:30 I walked for an hour to the airport and there I continued to wait until I found out the buses didn't start till 6, so I just said screw it and got a cab, but not to my house that would have cost too much, I just went to Kennedy Plaza, the major bus terminal for Providence and from there caught a bus to Pawtucket and walked the rest of the way, the cab still cost me $20 plus tip. So in general, I blew $25 and had to walk about an hour and a half in the cold. So yeah, not a very good night for me, life is a ho.
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| Stuffs |
[24 Nov 2002|09:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Nobuo Uematsu - Suteki da ne (Orchestra Version) |
] |
Well today was a pretty average day, well not really, average used to mean boring but most days I'm not that lucky anymore, most are filled with too much crap to be boring. To, unusual would probably be a better word, though that might imply that something interesting happened, which never happens. I guess I would classify today as a day where absolutely nothing happened, nothing good, but nothing bad either. I still haven't decided on the fate of my RPGs yet, even though I had nothing to do today and all the time in the world to post, I still didn't, which leaves me with one inescapable conclusion, I just don't wanna post anymore. I might just need some rest, we'll see how this week goes.
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| Options |
[23 Nov 2002|04:09am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket - Reach to the Sky Someday |
] |
Options, can be good or bad, in this case I dunno which yet. Most of the classes I need to take are not being offered next quarter plus I never did get around to finishing that research paper, I'm considering taking the winter quarter off and look for a second part time job. Maybe if it leads to full time I may never go back to school at all, at least not that school. I dunno what to do right now. If I had the money I'd drop everything and move right out to MN or CA. I guess I'll just have to wait and see where my options lead me.
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| That time of year again... |
[22 Nov 2002|01:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Daisuke Inoeue - Soldiers of Sorrow |
] |
I feel good. No more school until after Thanksgiving, only a 3 day work week ahead of me and I have cash in my pocket, all a very rare occurrence. I'm about to do my Christmas shopping, I already know what I'll get for some people and others I still haven't figured out. I came up with a cool idea for Rei, I think she'll like it. Also have one and maybe even two others lined up so I'm going all out this year lol. Well time to go get started on all that. Ja ne.
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| GAH! |
[22 Nov 2002|03:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
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disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Nobuo Uematsu - To Zanarkand |
] |
I was in an ok mood, until just now. I took a pop quiz about Rei and got a 40 on it v_v. I kinda feel bad about not knowing as much about her as I thought I did but then she's not really the type to open up so I guess it's to be expected, I dunno. I guess I'll have to make more of an effort to learn these little things in the future, after all, it's the little things that make up life right?
Did I mention how much I hate my school? I tried to register for classes today, 5 of them, and only 2 were available and one of them was a day class only, ain't life a bitch? I think I may take the winter quarter off and just look for part time work. Well that's about all for now, I need to stop before I pass out.
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| Thoughts, not so deep. |
[21 Nov 2002|04:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
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See-Saw - Obsession |
] |
Today was a decent day, I woke up feeling rested for once, had cash in my pocket, for once as well. Had an average day at school and a moderate day at work, really not much to complain about. Still going over some self examination crap, deciding if my life would be better if I were to ban myself from the net, though I think I'll save that topic for when I'm fully awake.
To pursue or not to pursue, that is the question. I've been thinking about if I should be more active in pursuing a special someone. I've been debating calling her, but I don't want to seem like a pest and annoy her, plus I'm no good on the phone, I go blank and can never think of anything to say, which is a bad thing when your calling long distance. Once again, trapped in conflict, the desire to contact her, and the desire not to be a pest to her. Ain't life a bitch?
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| Deep Thoughts |
[20 Nov 2002|01:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Hack Sign - Key of the Twilight |
] |
Something happened to me and I don't know what it is. I used to have dreams, goals, drive, but now I'm just so dead inside. It's like the life has just been sucked out of me, I never want to do anything. My mind is in a constant state of conflict with itself. I can never even give an opinion on something without contradicting myself and questioning everything I say. Even being asked a simple question like "what kind of girls do I like" which someone had asked me because impossible to answer. As soon as one answer appeared in my head it was shot down by several others and it because so conflicted I couldn't give an answer. What kind of girl would I like? It doesn't matter, god bless her for even giving me the time of day lol.
Not to compare myself to Spike, but my life, it is like a dream I never wake up from. I keep waiting, day by day, no goals, no plan to my life, I just wait, wait for something. I don't know what. It's like. . . one day I'll wake up and everything will be normal and clear again and this shitty dream will be over. But day by day goes by and I never wake up. The future is something that scares me, it never used to, but now I'll do anything I can to not think about it. Going to school, rather then giving me strengths to find a job and built a life with has only made me realize my weaknesses. I fear that I'll be trapped, never able to leave here, never be able to meet her. . . .her, what is it about her? She's always been in my mind and I still don't really know why. I've only been online for 2 and a half years Before that time I lived a sheltered life, for the most part devoid of human contact except for the most minimal, school, in which I was always alone. I was so messed up as a kid I never tried to be with others, I was so paranoid due to the drugs the doctors had me on. I have many regrets from those days, looking back, I know there were people that could have been friends if I had allowed them.
Friends, I've never had many, and those I have had are no longer in my life. We simply lost contact over time. Then I went online. I've meet many people, though only a handful I still talk to. But I don't feel about any of them the way I feel about her, and I can't tell why. She was one of the first people I ever met online. It was also her who get me into the online RPGs. If it wasn't for her I would have never met most of the people who I now consider my best friends. I think I had grown to take her for granted, she was always there, online as much as I was, then one time she vanished. This time last year she left and wasn't around for months, I think this effected me more then I realized, for the first time I actually became worried about someone. I've never been worried about anyone other then myself in my life. But I was actually worried about her and how she was doing. It came to the point where everyday I would sit in front of my computer blankly, just sitting. . . waiting. . watching, seeing if her name would appear on my buddy list, but she never came. I don't know why I did that, spending all that time, doing nothing at all except listing to music and watching and waiting. Looking back on it I kinda feel pathetic, but deep inside I know I'd do it again. I think. . I love her, and it's so sad that I can't even tell, how can you care THAT much for someone you've never met, but I do care about her, very much. I have such little experience with that emotion I don't even know if I could recognize it. I've spent a lot of time thinking, about meeting her IRL, that scares me too. After a life of rejection, it's hard to open yourself up to another knock down. I think that's why I am writing this. Something is very wrong with my mind and I need to figure it out. Maybe, if I get all this on paper. . . or screen rather, I can figure it all out, and maybe, just maybe fix my goddamn head. I need to figure out what my feelings really are, and also try to find my way again so I can focus on the future and actually pass school. I never really tried to examine myself like this before, maybe it'll do me some good
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| Another pointless post |
[18 Nov 2002|10:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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pessimistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Hack Sign OST - 02 - The world |
] |
Well today was productive, I managed to gather nearly all of the new anime I'm into on top of half it's OST. Plus I managed to resnag a better version of End of Evangelion. So on the anime front it's been good. On other fronts though.... Still not done with my school work, I'm such a slacker. Apparently something is bothering Rei and she nor BP wants to mention it. I was concerned but if it doesn't involve me then it shouldn't bother me, and if she wanted to tell me she would have. I dunno why it was bothering me, I know it shouldn't, but for some reason it did, at any rate, I'm too tired to think clearly and I'm just rambling on because nothing else ever happens to me to I tend to dwell on this kinda stuff.
I wonder if anyone even reads this stuff anyway... not that it matters, it's good to just type this crap, if nothing else it helps to forget all the boring shit in my life while I await the new boring shit to begin. *sighs* Hack Sign, I think few have any idea how much I wish that was real, heh, yeah me and about a million other video game dorks with no lives who still live at home lol. I'm starting to become anti-social again, I think Tsukasa is beginning to rub off on me lol.
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| Another weekend bites the dust... |
[18 Nov 2002|08:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 relaxed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Cowboy Bebop - Ballad Of A Fallen Angel |
] |
Well that was a more or less wasted weekend. I spent most of it sleeping, which in and of itself isn't a bad thing. But I needed it, I hadn't had a good night sleep all week. I really wish I could find those parts to my Guncannon model, I lost the vulcan guns and eye visor. This sucks. Oh well, I'm rested so now I can finish up on the boring school work I need to do, oh joy. Best thing that happened this weekend was I got up to episode 15 of Hack Sign. Speaking of which, I think I'm going to go finish watching it. Ja ne.
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| Pheh... |
[17 Nov 2002|01:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Mobile Suit Gundam: Char's Counterattack - Neo Zeon |
] |
So much to do, so little motivation to do it. I often find it odd how I tend to prioritize things. I need to finish rewriting a 10 page paper by next weekend, however I find myself worring more about keeping my online RPGs up, working on my video game and downloading anime. And I still have to kick myself to do any of it at all. I can feel myself getting tired already, it's weird, for some reason I just never have any energy anymore. Blah, a paragraph and I'm already feeling tired. I think I'll go take a nap now....
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| Ah, sleep at last |
[17 Nov 2002|09:07am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 refreshed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Bubblegum Crisis 2040 - Burning Highway |
] |
Finally caught up on some much needed sleep the other night, passed out at 7 pm and woke up early this morning. I actually feel rested for once. I've started watching another new anime. It's called Hack Sign and so far it's really good, can't wait to get more of it. Kinda reminds me of my youth, always playing RPGs, wishing I could actually enter those fictional worlds. I hope Rei gets online today, my schedule hasn't allowed me to be around to post with her in the RPGs recently. I've been considering calling her for a while but always chicken out. Maybe I'll try today if she doesn't come online. People don't seem to spend as much time online as they used to, I guess thats why I'm writing in this now. If nothing else it kills time and lets me vent when no one is around, not that anyone actually reads this thing anyway. Probably best they don't, not like anything interesting ever happens to me anyway. Well I think I'll use my rested state to catch up on some much needed work, ja ne.
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| Stupid People, cont. |
[16 Nov 2002|04:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 discontent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Nobuo Uematsu - Auron's Theme |
] |
Ok, so where was I? Oh yeah, the dumbasses in the world. I take time to make web sites with all kinds of info for the players and I get these people that just piss all over it by completly ignoring it. Once more, it clearly states that a writing sample is required in one of the top boxes. yet do they put anything there? Nope. I even have a warning that any application without one will be deleted, guess they didn't bother reading that either. Why must the idiots of the world be drawn to me? I must have done some pretty nasty shit in a past life or something.
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| Stupid People... |
[15 Nov 2002|10:32pm] |
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V Gundam - Stand Up To The Victory |
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Why are there so many stupid people running around out there? Have you ever noticed just how many stupid bastards you run into each day? I get these people that send in applications for my RPGs and wonder how they managed to gather enough brain cells to actually click a mouse. Aside from clearly ignoring my rules these people don't seem to understand that there is a diffrence between the Universal Century Gundam series and the Alternate Universes. It's very frustrating. I'd share some examples but I have to go to work in like 10 minutes, so maybe when I get back. Thats all for now.
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akurei_gx's journal